time to be happy

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sometimes i get so sick of the system all the colour falls out of my mouth,
you dont need to be like the adverts tell you, you dont need to buy their products to be perfect,
smile,
open your eyes

2 years of loving you, 3 empty days and i still remember meeting you and thinking about you in warm cardigans, colours by the side of your eye

morgan sed he'd take me camping, otherwise were going to a protest in calais. i'm teaching myself italian and yesterday i found a dead magpie in the park, its feathers were the most beautiful thing ive ever seen
sometimes,
i dont know if i  actually have any imagination left

i want to be a painter

how come my heart is frail
yellow and turning away from the sun
how come it feels like i am the only one
who wants to pull you back under the covers
with both hands
and  how come it is so easy to leave
go back to our lifes where i am
painting colours all over my face
sewing my finger tips together
being a person who doesnt know how to be
and how come i'm the only one who ever says
on the first day of christmas my true love said to me

painting ink swirls, bright bold colours and blue eyes i take photographs street art and drawing on walls sewing gold beads and gold seeds, paint and red hair. newspaper beads, warm beds. i wear legwarmers round my ankles with orange leaves, drugs on the weekend, drinking wine in the dark
sorry for being rubbish

i cant help imagining black ink swirling out from your eyes, dripping down by your toes where i love you the most

blow your cheeks up with air and poke them untill you pop you are the nicest thing i think ive ever seen with your skin that is so warm breathing in the same air and sleeping naked around the little wisp of hair by your ears and hands where they shouldnt be in the garden putting woodlice on eachother and choking on sweets running uphill and laughing untill we fall over
and get back up and hug down in the warm of your jumper i would walk anywhere for you, to blackberrie bushes that are not ripe
and i do not know how many times i have to say it but i dont mind how your fingertips touch when they are rough round the palms of my hand or your long cragged toes holding my toes, gripped tight when we stay up late getting lost in those eyes that wrinkle up around the edges when you smile and laugh
sweet sounds out your throat and slip right down mine

you are mine you are mine you are mine
one year

i laugh when rain falls in my eye
promise me i'm not rubbish

luv is not just soft fingertips
warm skin and bedbugs
cups of tea and saying im in love im in love
it is breathing in and out
heart beats and blood pumps
arteries and whale noises
kissing curved backbones because you
cannot stop

sleep sweep sunseed
green grass growing warm feet

painting tea cups yellow and red eyeshadow
messy lines by the side of my eyes all these colours
stuck inside of my throat and i can imagine you inside of the
covers laughing with wrinkles round your lips
and sipping tea till we're so old. i'm going to keep growing trees
and painting my radiator green, loving you so much that it makes me laugh and i want to wrap you up in the grass holding hands and watching the stars we make up in our heads
i like warm jumpers and little monsters

exciting and colour, sewing and warm toes
today i laughed and these are all the people i watch
sorry for being busy

cup of tea for kaffy
some red wine and big wooly jumpers
dancing 5 oclock in the morning
with bright colours and big eyes
and i like to spin untill i fall over
that isn't you that was me

when i close my eyes we are back inside of the sun with our hearts burning so bright and all the colours on my eyelids moving in and out of people dancing with your arms in the air. i want to put my hand back in your mouth and feel where your gums join your teeth and where your jaws hold your lips together, where the soft of your skin covers all of your bones the smooth in between your fingertips, the warm of your breathe when you gave me your soul and i am so happy

your last day sniffing in the cold
watching the sunshine out the window
and drinking tea with a straw
i miss your laugh in the wintertime
and when my bones are so cold
you cannot warm them up with
how big your jumpers are
green and falling around my ankles
i miss you its been a whole year
and your warm is still stuck in my head

there were 10 speckled frogs,
Sat on a speckled log
Eating the most delicious grubs, YUM YUM
One jumped into the pool,
Where it was nice and cool
Now theres only 9 speckled frogs.

Grumble grumble grumble
Everyone has grumpy journals
Complain complain complain
why not singing happy songs?

ezramvpople
i'd love to keep you here
tucked up under the covers cracking knuckles and hugging you so close, soft skin and my hands dont feel like hands unless your holding them
did you know that i'm in love